A scary experience

Thursday night I did not sleep well. On top of Jeremy being gone, Ryland was up a lot and Connor woke up extra early. After I took the boys to daycare I came back home and went back to bed. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. I woke up at 10am freaking out that the boys were still asleep and I hadn't heard them up yet. I ran to Connor's room and he wasn't there. I tore his sheet off looking for him. I ran to Ryland's room and he wasn't there either. My heart was racing. I started screaming for Connor over and over. I looked at both the back door and garage door to make sure it was locked and no one had come in to get them. I ran back to my room and look for them, then back to the living room. The whole time I was screaming for Connor in a panic. I guess I didn't scream for Ryland b/c I knew he couldn't answer. I stood in the living room for a minute trying to figure everything out then realized what day it was and that I had taken them to daycare. I broke down crying. I guess I was asleep doing all this, but I remember it all. It was the most horrible feeling that I hope to never actually experience.